Home again

David was finally released on Monday morning at 930. On his arrival home, he was greeted by two very loving sisters who were thrilled to have him back, and he too seemed very happy to be home. It was (and continues to be) a long hard road, but he is forging his way ahead. Monday was rough in terms of eating - obviously, it continues to be painful for him to take the bottle, so his consumption is very limited. He continues to need fairly substantial pain medication, which he does not love to take. Progress is being made though, little by little his appetite increases.

On Tuesday he did better, taking several ounces at several sittings, and a whopping 7.5 this evening. Pray that his little belly would be yearning for more, and that his little mouth would feel good enough to take it.

Day three

Our persistent little man continues to show his persistence. He continues improving and healing. After a better night's sleep, he awoke at about 545 this morning. Always active, he played fairly well, curiously touching or pulling on everything within arm's reach, including his IV. As a result of the pulling, the IV had to come out at about 9 this morning, which gave some extra incentive to get him drinking. We spent the better part of the day with a cranky kid that was determined not to eat or drink as long as we kept him in the hospital. We tried moving around the building, making games of it, popsicles, even trying to feed him at the park across the street, but nothing got him eating (though he did enjoy the swings thoroughly)

At around 6, he made his first real progress of the day drinking five ounces. He fought sleep for another hour or so before taking about 3 ounces. After an hour nap on a full belly, he wrestled me (not the fun kind) for a while before deciding he wasn't going to win, then took another four ounces and went to sleep fat and happy. One more of those bottles in the morning should be enough to get him sprung.

Nana and the girls picked Grandma Nancy up at the airport tonight. Rebekah talked to them before the girls went to bed, and it sounded like a real party. We look forward to getting home to all of them. We pray for a good appetite and decreased pain tomorrow so that can happen.

Day two

Day two saw David continue to heal and be less agitated in general. He is still experiencing alot of pain, but is doing his best to work with it. In the afternoon, he switched from IV pain medication to oral. He doesn't really care for the taste or the syringe it comes in, but it seems to do the trick in easing the pain and helping him sleep. He had a great nap on Jason's lap (about 4 hours) in the afternoon. Mom and dad also got a little rest and refreshment. I was able to go home and take a shower, while Rebekah took some time to go for a run near our old neighborhood.

The girls and their Nana came up to the hospital to visit and bring cinnamon rolls to their folks and the nurses. It was fun to spend some time sharing a late breakfast with them, and they were thrilled to see their brother.

The hope for tomorrow is that David will take some liquids. He has had several sips of broth, and a few spoonsful of crushed popsicle, but really nothing of substance. Tonight the nurse told us that they expect him to take about 8 ounces before they will send us home. For those of you who have been reading a while, you know this is a kid who has gone on more than one hunger strike in the past. Pray that the stubbornness would wane, the pain be relieved, and that he would take the nutrition that he needs to heal and grow, and more immediately, to go home. Pray for rest for Rebekah and I, and that we would both have patience in our interactions with one another, David, and the staff here.

First night recap

All told it was a good first night. As the anesthesia wore off, David began breathing more clearly and quickly. After it really left his system, the nurses were more willing to give him enough pain medicine to control his pain. Prior to about 530am, he was awaking in an agitated state frequently. The surgeon came in this morning at about 530 and took a look at David's mouth, and said that everything looked good. After the surgeon left, David really settled in and was able to sleep soundly. At the time of this post (10am) he's still sleeping. We may or may not be able to leave today, it really depends on how we feel and how David is eating. He is still receiving IV fluids and medication, so until he is able to take what he needs by mouth, we will need to stick around. Pray that we'll have wisdom and patience for the right timing.

What a day. We woke up early so that we could be to the hospital by 6am. Even on the way here, we were uncertain as to whether the surgery would actually take place today, as the anesthesiologist had some concerns over David‘s lungs. Rebekah had taken David to get a chest x-ray last week to make sure that the pneumonia had cleared adequately. The doctor took a look at those and still wasn‘t sure, so told us last night to come in today and he would make a decision when we got here. We were thankful when the decision was made to proceed.
David went in for surgery at about 745. We had been told that he would be in there for about three hours. After about two hours, the nurse came out and assured us that all was well. The three hour mark came and went, then four. We were getting a little concerned, but at about 1230 the surgeon came out and let us know that in spite of the doubts he had, he was able to close the entire hole in David’s mouth. Again we were very thankful.
Recovery went as well as could be expected. David was groggy and cranky (to his credit, not nearly as bad as I was when I came out of surgery). He continues to show the fighter that he is each time that he wakes, which encourages us to believe that he will keep fighting through this and heal up well and quickly.
We did have a scare after we got up to the room. David holds his breath when he gets upset. He woke to find mucus and blood in his airway, enough to upset anyone, but this time he wasn’t able to clear the airway or start breathing again for several moments. He was finally able to get started again with some strong encouragement, but not before causing quite a bit of excitement for the nurses, respiratory therapist, and mom and dad. Pray for a restful evening for the little guy.
The surgeon said that we may be able to take him home as early as tomorrow. We’ll try to keep posting to keep everyone up to date.

The conclusion (for now)

So I finally realized that there are those out there who are still waiting for the conclusion to the story (knowing that there will never really be one). We made it back to the US on November 16, 2007 with David. The next couple of months were to be trying - he was a sick kiddo. We spent every night waking with him, be it bronchiolitis, pneumonia, common colds or night terrors. He had surgery to insert ear tubes, as well as a night in the hospital with IV antibiotics and parenteral nutrition. The first week of January we finally had our first full nights of sleep - a real blessing. Although he had some initial difficulty warming to Jason, particularly on our return, over the past couple of weeks David has really warmed to his father. Pray that this will continue. We received word that David has put on more than 3.5 pounds and more than an inch since he has been in the States. This puts him back on the growth charts and returns him to eligibility to have his cleft palate repaired, so the surgery will be performed January 25, 2008.

Jason's back continues to improve, though it is a slow process. Pray for patience and persistence in that.

We thank you for your continued prayers and support.

A few pictures of the days

David's old bed

David & Rebekah outside the orphanage

Precious treasure

Well, here we are in Guangzhou, the last stop before heading home. Before I go into much detail about this place I need to go back a few days.

On Saturday the 10th ,we headed north out of Nanjing to Lianyungang, the city where David's orphanage was. The van ride was a long 4 1/2 hours with 3 little babies in tow. We did enjoy the sights on the way up, including the Yangtse River, green rice fields, and people riding bikes carrying HUGE loads of hay. Lianyungang is right on the Yellow Sea. It is smaller than Nanjing, but still has 4.5 millon people including all of the districts. It was late when we arrived so we headed straight for bed in anticipation of seeing Lianyungang in the daylight. When we woke up we looked out the window of our hotel to see mountains right behind us. As we headed down the elevator we saw the sea sprawling before us on the other side. An amazing site.

We took a short walk on the island near our hotel. The old time fishing boats were of particular interest. Fishing is a big of the economy in this area. We then looked through more of David's information to see where he was abandoned. We found out that his spot of abandonment was about 1 hour away from Lianyungang. Jason decided to stay with David at the hotel for naps while I went with our tour guide to the place where David was found. We drove west from Lianyungang to a very rural, agricultural area. The homes were quite small and made of stone, surrounded by fields and livestock. Quite different from Lianyungang. We arrived in the city of Donghei and found the hospital and even the chair where David began his journey to us. Quite an emotional moment and very special. After quite a few pictures we headed back to Lianyungang to meet the others.

The next day we went to the orphanage. Jason and I had planned to take turns going in while the other person stayed with David outside the orphanage. Jason went in and was able to view where David spent his first 15 months of life. He slept in a crib right next to a baby girl who was adopted by a family from Parker, just 5 miles from our home. We joked that the kids were neighbors in the orphanage and now they will be neighbors in Colorado. The kids lived out their lives in three rooms - the crib room, playroom, and washroom. David's area was primarily babies and toddlers. The other part of the orphanage had kids who were middle school or high school age. It was hard to see these children who so desperately need a family. The older kids were very aware of what was going on and why we were there. All the kids were "special needs" as far as we could tell. The nannies seemed to be very invested in the lives of the children. David's nanny had the day off on the day we visited, but apparently she had been his nanny for 12 months of his life. The administrative staff seemed very kind. They were willing to answer any questions they could. They told us that when they first received him, he was very ill and frail, even near death. They also said he is obstinate and a fighter. Having observed him the past week and a half, it goes without saying that that is why he survived.

Although it was very hard, we were very glad to be able to visit the orphanage. I feel like I have a much better idea of what is going on with him by just seeing where he came from.

From the orphanage we headed directly back to Nanjing to catch a flight to Guangzhou. After a 6 hour van ride back and a 2 hour flight - through which David slept :) - we arrived in Guangzhou. We hit the pillows close to midnight, but were thrilled to be one step closer to home.

David's health gets better daily. He is trying new foods and drinking formula like crazy, both answers to prayer.

Each day also brings us one step closer to home. Now in Guangzhou, the last stop for all American families, we see why this is considered the hub of Chinese adoption. So many families, so many children. It is truly wonderful to see. We ate "western food" for lunch. The hamburger was fine, nothing like Red Robin, but the warmth of the sunshine and the people was great. While there, a woman (who was here to tour, not for adoption) asked me how old my "precious treasure" was. Of course had no idea that the meaning of his Chinese name is "precious treasure baby."

Getting Used to each other

The past two days have been free days, no appointments or paperwork, only waiting for paperwork to be finished and for the next appointments, which are next Tuesday. We received his Chinese passport today, which was the final piece of documentation we needed here in Nanjing. So we have several days to do nothing but get used to one another. David's health seems to continue to improve, as does his eating. His sleep habits should come along as he does better with eating so that he is not so hungry in the night. Tomorrow we travel to Lianyungang, David's hometown, then visit the orphanage on Monday. Of course we will not be taking him back inside the building, but we look forward to being able to see it ourselves.

Tonight we stepped back into western civilization for a few moments when we got a Papa John's pizza for dinner. Not quite like the real thing, but close enough. Right now we are hearing an eruption of fireworks and honking horns outside. We have no idea why, and it is a reminder of how little we understand of this culture. Today a man walked up to Jason, pulled the hood down from David's face, and said (in Mandarin) "That looks just like a Chinese baby!" He was dead serious. This has been an unforgettable experience.

Thank you for all your prayers as it is obvious that David's comfort and health improve daily.

One step closer

Yesterday was another big day, beginning very early. David seems to be a morning person (the day started at about 5:30 or so), which would have been easier if he wasn't a night person (he was awake for most of that as well). After breakfast, we went back to the "Center for International-Related Marriage and Adoption" and finalized the adoption. It was the same location where we had picked up David the prior day. After signing alot of papers that we couldn't read, we left with a very official looking certificate that (we're told) says that he is now officially ours. While there, we also applied for his Chinese passport, which we will need to go to the US Embassy in Guangzho to get him a US passport. Lots of steps, bt slowly we continue to get over each one, and each one is one step closer to being home together. After the appointment we went to the Chinese equivalent of Wal-Mart, a fascinating experience in itself. This store is buried under a skyscraper in the 2nd and 3rd basement levels. The big hit purchase was the stroller, which to our surprise, David really seems to like. Afeter taking him around outside for a bit, we came back to the room and all were ready to call it an early night. Throughout the day he seemed to eat a bit better.

Last night David slept a bit better, though he was still up quite a bit through the night. The good part of that is that he ate quie a bit during the night. Although he remains sick, it seems it is most likely something simple like a respiratory and ear infections. We have amoxicillin for him, and we should be able to get the infection cleared with that.

We all continue to get used to one another and are working hard to bond. We appreciate your prayers toward that end, and also for rest, health and appetite for all.

Finally in the arms of Mom and Dad

Gotcha!

Hooray! This is the day we have been waiting for ! The day began about 5:30a.m. for us (because I couldn’t sleep anymore J ) We had our breakfast then we were off to the registration building. On our way our guide said , “ In 15 minutes you will meet your child”. Our anticipation grew. We arrived at the registration building and headed in. It was at that time we were told that our children were not here yet but still driving down from the orphanage in Lianyungang. We observed another family who was in a room receiving their child. Tears were coming to my eyes and it wasn’t even our child yet. We waited in the room for just about 15minutes. Out the window we saw the van park and out walked the orphanage director and some other helpers. We recognized David right away. Now the tears started flowing. The other family with us was getting a girl and she was with them as well. They came into the room with us. The director was holding David. We didn’t know quite what to do or at least what was culturally appropriate, so we waited and just talked to him while he was in the directors arms. Finally, the time came when she handed him over to me. I spoke the very little Chinese that I know , assuring him that I was his ma ma and that Jason was his ba ba . We also told him in Chinese that we love him .

He went to both of us without any fuss. We held him close and facing us, encouraging attachment. I had brought a little plastic car with me. He loved it. I don’t know if it was because it was a car or that it made noise when you shake it. The director told us that David likes things that make music and noise. I thought that was a good sign in many ways. For one it means that his hearing is o.k. and two it means that he will fit in well with his sisters.

We signed a bunch of papers and got our picture taken together for a “public announcement”. Next we left for the hotel. David was very content with his dad. He even laughed out loud when Jason tickled himJ . We tried feeding him a bottle when we got back since we weren’t sure when he last ate. He didn’t think much of it and just fussed. So that is when I decided to do “the sway” , and sing praise songs to him. I don’t know which worked best but he finally fell asleep. Now we are waiting to go sign more papers, pick up laundry, and get a small stroller. We are hopeful that he will eat when he is hungry. I guess a typical concern for any parent with a new baby.

We have been very thankful that David seems to connect with us and wants us to hold him, but he is having difficulty with eating and seems to have an upper respiratory infection. We took him to the Children's Hospital here to have him seen (quite an experience in itself) and were given an antibiotic and expectorant. Please remember David in your prayers regarding his eating and a respiratory infection.

Arrival to Nanjing

We are finally here in Nanjing following a very busy time in Beijing. We welcome the slightly slower pace of Nanjing. It seems here there are a lot fewer cars and more motorbikes. It is Sunday and it obviously a "market day" for people here. We look forward to exploring our surroundings.

Tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. we will finally meet our son. We are very excited and a bit nervous. It was something else to walk into our hotel room and see a little crib all made up for our son. Our tour guide here, Savor, has already given us some of the Chinese formula and rice cereal.

The next time we post we will have our son!

A View of China

Wow. What an incredible day. After our very large breakfast, which included everything from cereal to congee to steamed biscuits, we headed out on our adventures for the day with Helen, our tour guide, and another family from Michigan who are also adopting.

First off, we went to Tinamen Square and the Forbiddeen City. We weren't able to visit all 9,999 rooms in the emperors palace , but we got our fill. The palace is 960 meters long and 750 meters wide. Needless to say Jason got his walking in for the day.

Next, we went to lunch at little local place with outstanding food. Lots of spice and plenty of jasmine tea. We then went and toured by rickshaw ( a bike like carriage); the Hutongs, the "old city" of Beijing. The homes are all one story high, with four corners, and connecting courtyards. People still live in this area today, and consider it an honor to have a place within the "old Bejing". We had a chance to visit a local woman there and have tea in her house, where she lives with her mother, grandmother, and son.

Next, we were off to the "kungfu" show at The Red Theatre. We were greatly impressed with the athleticism and dancing ability of the performers.

Lastly, we were taken to the "Peking Duck" resturant. We were still stuffed from breakfast and lunch, but still enjoyed the experience.

We enjoy all of the tours, but we are most excited to meet our son.

A long day, but we made it

After a very long day of travel, we arrived in Beijing this afternoon (November 1). Thanks to a sympathetic flight attendant, I was able to stretch out in businees class for part of the flight, which was very helpful. Our travel really went without a hitch. We are very tired and as it is evening here, are going to rest and post more soon.

Clear to take off

I went in for my seven week visit with Dr. McVicker today. The x-ray looks good, and healing is proceeding as expected. Spasms have decreased substantially over the last several days, and I will be allowed to begin weaning from the brace. Over the next several weeks, I will be able to gradually increase activity from stretching to strengthening. I will be able to get in the swimming pool (gently) do easy lifting and rowing, push-ups, etc., all of which sound very appealing after 7 weeks of near inactivity. Most importantly, I will be allowed to travel to China on Wednesday morning, and lifting/carrying restrictions have been loosened enough that I will be able to hold my boy next Monday. I guess that's what everybody wanted to know, so having said that, I'm going to bed. We'll post again when we get to China-check back in a couple of days.

Six weeks and change

Well, six weeks have passed. I have felt improvement in the pain overall, however the spasms continue to be fairly strong and frequent. I am still wearing the brace, but am hopeful that within the next few days I will be able to begin to wean out of it. So far the physical therapy I have been allowed has focused on core strengthening, which I know is important, but not particularly gratifying in a tangible rehabilatative sense. I have returned in large part to the pre-accident routine at work, but am getting a ride to and from the office with Eric most days.

The big change is on the way in another 10 days. On October 31, Rebekah and I leave for Beijing to pick up our son David. The emotions have run the gamut, but we are very excited to meet him and bring him home. The trip will last 17 days, beginning in Beijing, then to Nanjing where we will actually pick him up and go through the adoption process, then finishing at the US Consulate in Guangzho and returning to the States via Hong Kong. Although we were not able to upgrade our seats, we were able to get a full row on the way there, and 3 of the 4 seats in another row on the way back. That (combined with some Ambien) should make the trip a little easier on my back. Hopefully by then the back brace will be off, which should make the flight (not to mention airport security) a lot easier. We will continue to use this site to keep all of you posted on the details of the trip as they transpire, and we should be able to post some pictures as well. Thanks for all of your prayers and support in getting us this far, we are thankful that they will continue throughout our journey as well.

A full month of healing and learning

Hard to believe that yesterday was four weeks since the accident. In some ways it feels like so much longer, yet these weeks have in so many ways been but a blur. Last week I had an appointment with Dr. McVicker, the neurosurgeon who operated on me. In many ways, it was a predictable vist. My body continues to heal well, I need to be careful not to overdo it, etc. I think I was a little bit disappointed that somehow I wasn't some sort of superman, that I didn't walk in to a doctor that said "I can't believe how fast you've healed, go forth with the rest of your life!" Not that I expected it, but I've been tired, and am so anxious for wellness and to return to life as I knew it before the accident. I expressed my frustrations with some of the restrictions and the effects of the medications, and he graciously reminded me that I did break my back and have a very major surgery several weeks ago. He also encouraged me to take the medications in a slightly different manner that would prevent some of the grogginess that I had felt with them previously. The latter suggestion has been helpful in that it has allowed me to have less pain, but more importantly, far more (and better) sleep, which helps my outlook immensely.

A good friend called me the day after the appointment and asked if there was anything he could do to help. I politely declined, but then talked to him about how difficult it can be for me to take help at all. I have always thought of myself as someone who was able to take care of things myself, and didn't want to "inconvenience" others with my responsibilities.

"Be careful denying other people their blessings," he said.

Lying in bed and unable to sleep, I had several hours to think about the conversation. What is he talking about denying blessings? I'm trying to make sure that others don't have to carry my burden. I don't want to inconvenience him. It's not his responsibility to blow out my sprinklers or sweep my garage. Several nights I have lay in bed, unable to sleep because I had to go to the bathroom, but in my pride and stubborness, unwilling to ask my wife for help putting on my brace so that I could get out of bed. 'I just want her to be able to rest' I thought. But that wasn't it. I didn't want to have to ask for help. I didn't want to inconvenience her. Or burden her with "my things."

I'm being independent. The opposite of independence is not a positive thing. It's dependency, or codependence, or laziness, the list goes on and on. And suddenly my friend's response, the delivery of which had been simple and kind, hit me squarely between the eyes and hard. The opposite of independence isn't necessarily any of the above. The opposite of independence isn't even necessarily negative. For me, the opposite of independence needed to be humility. Independence for me had become synonymous with arrogance and pride. Not in a way that looked cocky, but in a way that made me believe I was completely self sufficient, like I could do anything and didn't need help. And maybe that's true sometimes. But what my friend had said was still resonating. See, he is someone that I believe has the gift of giving. He thrives on helping others, on sharing with others. And to deny him the opportunity to help me in my time of need denied him the opportunity to use his gift. It also created a barrier in our relationship. If I won't let my wife serve me in my time of need, I am implicitly stating that I don't need her.

I think that all of us are wired with a desire to help others. I know how good it feels to me to be able to do something for someone, even if they could have done it themself. I also know the closeness I feel to others when I have been able to help them.

Wouldn't it be cool if we didn't have to go through things like broken backs to pay enough attention to learn these lessons in life?

Updates and encouragement

Yesterday was my two week follow up appointment with the doctor. He removed the staples, took a look at the incision, and took alot of time to discuss my questions, progress, etc. The physical healing appears to be going very well; the surgical site is closing cleanly and without infection. The real problems has been, and to an extent continues to be, the muscle spasms in my back. The neurosurgeon was very clear prior to the surgery that this would be the case, but I guess it's easy to underestimate how it would feel. At any rate, I have been trying to go about my routine statue-still to prevent any further damage, and at the appointment yesterday, the doctor gave me a green light to start moving around and involving my muscles substantially more. Of course I have to avoid over-doing it, and I have to isolate my back from any exercise, but the mere fact that I can begin being more active in my recovery is incredibly encouraging.

I have been hitching rides to work with Eric Brown, who lives and works within several blocks of where I live and work, which has been great both because it allows me to begin feeling productive again (getting into the office), and gives me good time of fellowship. As many of you know, Eric is my great friend, long time training partner and, along with Tom Norris, was with me at the time of my accident. Rebekah diligently comes and gets me from work after a few hours before I spend too much time at the office, as I always have difficulty feeling like I have tied up enough loose ends to leave, and probably wouldn't be smart enough to go without prompting. It does feel like the psychological portion of my healing is well under way as I begin to slip back into the routine at the office, even on a minimal level.